Big Yellow Tutu

January 30, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — helenium @ 6:06 pm

This weekend wasn’t quite boho utopia that was the previous weekend. Unless you count being sick in the Hard Rock Café toilets at two in the morning as classy.

Friday was of course spent watching the CBB finals. I’ve decided that I really like Preston’s tattoos. Made me wonder about getting one myself. Of course, I won’t, but the thoughts are there all the same. A girl can ponder.

Saturday was supposed to bring with it our promised Sky installation, we’ve been promised it since August, but alas, its been postponed again. Note to every Londoner out there: do not use Spectrum for your installation. They are as efficient as I am tall.

We hotfooted it over to Emily’s birthday party for much vodka drinking (and spilling). Got to laugh at Swish who replied to a polite question about the Arctic Monkeys with ‘I’m so over them, they’re like 8 months ago’. Cue lots of piss taking about him being an unapproachable muso snob. Do love him for it though.

We left the party early to go to the Kerrang tour aftershow at the Hard Rock Café. I was fairly hammered by this point, forgetting that house party measures are not the same as pub measures. Within about ten minutes of getting there I was sick in the toilets. Nice.

I was promised sightings Of Charlie Simpson, thankfully he wasn’t there. I have the feeling I would only have tried to talk to him in my very drunk state. I don’t he’d have asked me to marry him after that.

Sunday was tapas day, had some lovely peeps round for some very veggie food I cooked. Somehow managed to drink lots of vodka and gin loaded sangria, despite waking up thinking I’d be ill again. Grrr…so hardcore. Or stupid. Either/or.

Rather delightfully this week looks nice and quiet. So hopefully can just relax for a while, I feel a bit worn out. In a good way though, it’s been a lovely few weeks. I just need some time to have lots of baths, finish the book I’m reading and to get through the big pile of cd’s on my desk that need listening to. Started taking work home with me. It’s great.


January 26, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — helenium @ 12:59 pm

It’s a bit late in the week for this, but I’ve been somewhat busy. Had another lovely weekend, 2006 is turning out to be excellent indeed. Filling the days with things that aren’t gigs is great. Fuck all dayers at Cargo, its all about going home without tinnitus.

Friday night we managed the trek from work to Henry J Beans (approx 30 metres) for 2 for 1 cocktails. I was drinking Alabama Slammers that I think had a lovely combo of whiskey, amaretto, some sort of juice and two straws. Classy. Was home in time for CBB. Even classier.

Saturday morning, like many others this morning, was supposed to start with a jog round the park. Next week maybe. Instead we took the more leisurely route of walking to Borough Food Market. Bought some lovely over priced organic fodder and felt all wholesome. Didn’t see Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall though, gotta find some way to have my wicked way with him soon.

It’s so easy to forget just how wonderful Borough market is, I challenge even the biggest ready meal addict not to be overwhelmed by the place. It’s always packed to the rafters, unless you follow the restaurateurs and turn up at 6 in the morning of course. Its full of passion and interest, noone wanders round with that resentful expression on their face that you so often see in the supermarkets. Everyone spends time at each stall, trying out the samples, picking up things, talking about it all. Its worth the elbow fight, and though the market is probably more fun with a few hundred quid in your pocket I coped well with my few pennies.

The evening brought with it some decisions – Mystery Jets at the Barfly, Tatty Bogles or Viva Cake? Oh my god, we made the right decision. Viva Cake was amazing. What could beat a 50s rock n roll night at a workingmen’s club? There was free tea and cake, jive instructors, nail parlours, and even playing cards on each table. Everyone was dressed up in their finest, including this young missy and we all looked brilliant.

There were a few enthusiasts there, who’d clearly done this kind of thing before. A guy dressed in dungarees with a white shirt underneath had slicked back shiny black hair and took to the dance floor like a true pro. So good to watch. Made me very envious and even more determined to convince the Swish to take up line dance lessons.

Despite my earlier food halo, I did indulge in a McDonalds bacon cheeseburger on the way home. Let it be said I’d never eaten a McDonalds beef product before and was therefore a little intrigued about it all. It was very strange, despite containing burger, bacon and cheese it tasted of none of the above. It was very very sweet and though was pretty horrid, tasted like nothing else in the world. Strange.

Keeping to my new year’s resolution, I went to see Jarhead on Sunday. Its quite good, amazingly well shot, very very beautiful. Script wise, it’s a little bit obvious, no real plot, just the glare of the permanent mental damage done by war. Its worth seeing for Jake dancing in a string thong which uses a Santa hat to cover his manhood. Yum yum yum.


January 13, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — helenium @ 5:55 pm

Everyone always precedes a meme with a note saying they only resorted to it because they were bored. I guess I’m no different.

1. Your name spelled backward?

2. Last incoming call on your phone?
the swish

3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
the nme chart for mtv2. not very exciting really.

4. Have you ever licked a 9 volt battery?
er. No. why would I? What happens?

5. Last time you swam in a pool?
In Spain in August, was lovely and always accompanied by a raging hangover.

6. Have you ever been in a school play?
Not really, tried to avoid those kind of things, volunteering for lighting stuff instead.

8. Type of music you dislike most?

9. Are you registered to vote?
yup. And very fun it is too. Though I got given a crayon to vote with last time, which was a little offensive.

10. Do you have cable?
the sorest subject in my life. Being an MCH is more hassle than its worth.

11. Have you ever ridden on a mo-ped?
christ no. I didn’t like riding pushbikes til I was quite old. Mopeds are way too dangerous.

12. Ever made a prank phone call?
nope. I used to get angry when the kids at the school bus stop stop used to.

13. Boyfriend/Girlfriend?
yup. Have one and am one.

14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
bungee jumping I’d worry about snapping my spine, and sky diving can’t be good for the ageing process on your face if all yoru skin gets wibbled and stretched about so much.

15. Furthest place you ever traveled?
God knows, my geography is awful.

16. Do you have a garden?
If you count a small pot of mint I bought in tesco that I am desperately trying to not kill. Then yes.

17. What’s your favorite comic strip?
A friend of mine called Dave used to strip to Oasis songs, that was always quite funny.

18. Do you know all the words to the national anthem?
yup. Kinda comes with the territory when joining the British Legion.

19. Bath or Shower, morning or night?
Showers in the morning, I don’t like baths all that much as they make your fingers prune like. That scares me.

20. Best movie you’ve seen in the past month?
King Kong. Mmm…Mr Brody.

21. Favorite pizza toppings?
Egg and bacon.

22. Chips or popcorn?

23. What type of deodorant do you use?
Something boring. Who would ever have something interesting to write here?

24. Have you ever smoked peanut shells?

25. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?
thank christ, no

26. Orange Juice or apple?
Apple juice has been proven to induce headaches, so its orange juice all the way.

27. Who were the last people you went out to lunch with?
As in sitting down to lunch, then that’d have to be the Swish’s parents.

28. Favorite type of chocolate bar?
Green and Blacks dark chocolate

30. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?
If you count the organic veg delivery we get, then about three weeks ago.

31. Have you ever won a trophy?
Unsurprisingly, no.

34. Ever ordered from an infomercial?
No, but I’d love to.

35. Sprite or 7-Up?
Theres a difference?

36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school/work?
About a zillion, including such delights as a t shirt that said ‘biggest, sweetest, juiciest’ across my boobs; a jedi outfit; and a bright red jumper that said ‘order your turkey here’.

37. Last thing you bought at Walgreens?
That’s a pharmacy right? Boots in the UK I guess. So… that would be foundation and a sarnie.

38. Ever thrown up in public?
About 6 weeks ago, all over Liverpool St tube platform.

39. Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love?
A million isn’t that much, so I’d plump for true love.

40. Do you believe in love at first sight?

41. Can ex’s be just friends?
Of course.

42. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
My ex boyfriends dad.

43. Did you have long hair as a young kid?
Ish. It got really lesbian and very short when I was about 14.

44. What message is on your voicemail machine?
a nice automated one

45. Where would you like to go right now?
a nice deli with plenty of money to spend on good food.

46. What was the name of your first pet?
blue, she wa a manx cat with no tail.

47. What kind of back pack do you have, and what’s in it ?
today it’s a crappy topshop tote bag that contains – a book about spanish rascals, some make up, a jumper, two pairs of gloves, a scarf, hand cream, perfume, electricals, many lipglosses, some old train tix, a bit of loose change and a recipe from deliaonline that I just printed off.

48. Who is your best friend of the opposite sex?
oohh…tough call. Either jeremy or dan.

49. What is one thing you are grateful for today?
My earrings match my necklace. And I love my boyfriend. Not sure which is more important in life.

50. What do you think about most?
Food and music.


January 11, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — helenium @ 3:40 pm


Oh my god. This is the best day ever. Kula Shaker are reforming. Oh my god.

This makes me insanely happy.

K was one of the first albums I properly got into when I was about 13 and I became somewhat obsessed. The rumours that I own every single on every format are true. I even bought promo copies of the single that were the same as the standard single aside from having one seconds more silence at the end of the track. I even went to see Crispian Mills on his solo tour and again when he was with The Jeevas. My obsession did not go so far as to buy the second Jeevas album though. Let that be made clear straight away.

Apparently Crispian, Paul and Alonzo did a gig together in Leighton Buzzard just before xmas. Jay’s too busy with Oasis and shopping in M&S Chichester (much to my delight years ago) to join them. But still. This is brilliant. Its unconfirmed yet as to whether it’s a permanent reform. But wow, wouldn’t it be amazing if they did?


January 10, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — helenium @ 11:38 am

Sometimes weekends just go really well. This was the first whole weekend I got to spend with the Swish for about a month and so was looking forward to it, especially after that horrid first week back at work.

It kicked off on Thursday with a trip to the cinema to see Cry Wolf, a god awful American teen horror film set on a boarding school campus. It was about as original as Shanye Ward and gave the entire plot away in the first five minutes. I hasten to add that this kind of film is not usually high on my list of cinematic choices, but it was a freebie screening, and fulfilled one of my new years resolutions.

Feeling very sleepy after being thoroughly bored for two hours we headed over to the Elbow Rooms for a bit of ¡Forward, Russia! and Art Brut. Immediately negating my day of fulfilling resolutions, as they don’t really fall into the new bands category. Oh well, it was lovely to see everybody again. We left a bit prematurely, and instead opted for an early night. Apologies to all for my rudeness, but I’m an old lady and to be honest, I forgot how noisy gigs are.

Friday was spent in front of the TV, watching My Name Is Earl, which was amazing in a Coen Brothers kinda way.

Saturday brought with it a glorious lie in until mid afternoon then the cinema again. This time for the very, very upsetting Brokeback Mountain. They had a Ben & Jerrys counter at the cinema, the meanest temptation ever. Especially as they now do sundaes with two scoops of ice cream, hot syrup in the middle, and whipped cream and marshmallows on top. Mmmm… Almost as yummy as Jake The Cowboy.

In a moment of extra curricular bravery, we went out after the cinema. This film then gig thing is fun. Satisfies both me and the Swish. Hurrah.

We went over to Tatty Bogles and thankfully this time I didn’t get turned away at the door for not having any ID. Oh, the humiliation. We had a really good evening, drank too much maybe, but it was aces. Amazingly, I lasted till about 5am. Something that’s completely unheard of. I’m usually complaining by about 11pm.

The weekend was even full of nice food and good cooking. Made hummus from scratch too. Lovely. I hope there’s many more weekends like this in 2006, I’d be a proper chesire cat, grinning away by December if there are.


January 3, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — helenium @ 5:43 pm

Right y’all. I gave in and got a Myspace account.

I have two excuses I shall use over and over again for this blatant hypocrisy after all the months of slating it…

1. I’ve got to write a magazine article about it.
2. I got bored at work.

It’s taking me a while to find people on it, its all very confusing.
If any of you lovely people want to add me first then go for it.
I may sometimes be posting some slightly rude pix of me on it.

I think you can find my profile (minus rude pix for now) at…