Big Yellow Tutu

September 23, 2005

Filed under: Uncategorized — helenium @ 2:36 pm

My Big Northern Adventure

Day Three

Another glorious lie in until 11am then a trip into sunny Liverpool. With only a few short hours until we had to get the train and lots of Liverpool that I wanted to see we decided that the best bet would be to consider our options over a sneaky double g&t in wetherspoons. The best use of limited time.

A short walk through the town centre and we found Albert Dock (though if you’re northern is Albadoch apparently). My heart was set on the Duck Boat, an old ex-army vehicle that tours Liverpool via the streets and river. Yes, it floats. Fuck knows how, it looks very heavy.

Another sneaky drink later and we find ourselves in the company of Americans, children and two crazy old men who run the tours. Its all very scripted but nonetheless cute, they even pretend that the boat engine fails when we go back up the slipway, so that we career backwards into the water very fast. Theres jellyfish in the Mersey too it seems.

I saw a street where Florence Nightingale used to live, a couple of cathedrals, a pub that looked like a boat and some water. All that Liverpool has to offer.

We glammed it up on the train home, buying a bottle of gin, some m&s cranberry and some actual glasses to drink them out of. None of this warm bottled water from the train shop malarkey for us. No sir.

We got home get pissed, very tired and wanting to collapse.

Things I have learnt about up north then…

1. They are brave and let children drive the duck boats. This does not result in deaths.
2. They love The Beatles and the outside of The Cavern looks very chavvy.
3. Mentioning slave trade must be done often, but with an awkward expression on one’s face.
4. You need not wash your hair often, and you must always remember the volume is bad when it comes to having long hair.
5. If you work on a Virgin train 16:48 is the same time as 16:08.


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