My Big Northern Adventure
Day One & Two (More days to follow).
It should be said that my excitement levels about the weekend could not be surpassed. I had such high hopes and my oh my were they lived up to. I’ve punctuated my journey with some nice Google Image Search results. Who needs holiday snaps? Pah.
Despite everyone’s warnings that its slightly colder up north I still headed off in flip flops and a summer dress. Its very very cold in Liverpool, despite it being seemingly surrounded by industrial waste chimneys.
We spent the evening watching Mr Swish’s (hot) little brother play Richard Gere in Chicago. It was a bit raunchy, all these 17-year-old girls in fishnets and suspenders. Blimey. There were a lot of uncomfortable looking dads in the audience. His parents encouraged us to stay up until 2 in the morning drinking gin, they are so much more hardcore than me.
We headed to Blackpool on Sunday feeling very tired and quite hungover but massively excited. Well, I was anyway, Swish was still trying to tell me it would be shit and full of chavs. The first café we went into was playing PJ & Duncan, a sure sign that this was going to be a truly amazing adventure.
A long walked down the beach to the Pleasure Beach proved that Blackpool is made up of pram faces and very unattractive people. They all walked about either in total silence looking glum or shouting at each other.
The promenade itself is really odd, the town centre looks roughly like any other town, with the same chain stores. But the sea front plays host to a film set like time warp. Its full of arcades, bingo halls, greasy spoons and b&bs. None of the facades have changed in the last 30 years, nothing strives to be anything new or to change. Its all just stayed exactly the same.
After a long walk and many nerves on my count we found ourselves stood at the entrance to The Pepsi Big One rollercoaster. Standing at an impressive 213 foot tall, with a drop angle of 65 degrees, and nice old 3.5Gs force and only a seatbelt and a bar holding you in, it is a lot of fun. At some points I really did think I was going to die. I’m usually ok on rollercoasters when theyre in theme parks, it’s the (pikey) ones on the end of piers that scare me. Clearly, I didn’t die. It was fine, I even splashed out on buying a commerative keyring that I will happily show anyone if they ask.
Green tea sensibilities were swapped for a love of fat in Pizza Hut, then a walk along the beach at dusk was a must. We even saw a beached jellyfish.
We met back up with Swish’s party hard family for coin pushing machine fun and the illuminations. I was less excited about the illuminations than I was about seeing Blackpool itself. We missed McFly turn them on a few weeks ago and frankly theyre not very eco are they?
But I was still impressed. Sure, they’re shit, and the idea of neon devils and cherubs adorning a street is hardly my idea of a design feat but they are fun. They even have light up aliens with spinning heads who fire ‘lasers’ (read: stream of fairy lights – Blackpool haven’t got laser technology yet) at each other.