Big Yellow Tutu

July 28, 2005

Filed under: Uncategorized — helenium @ 6:28 pm

Ah, I love birthdays. I had so much fun, a giant thank you to everyone who came along.

The day started beautifully with breakfast in bed and the two best necklaces in the world ( and I love my boyfriend very much. I got to work to learn that I had to chair the new videos meeting and I didn’t fuck it up. They also bought me cake and a blender and I love them. I headed out into the night with a big smile on my face.

The curry was mediocre, I made the mistake of not really reading the menu and ending up with something pineapple based. Drinking absinthe on top of a stomach of curry was the start of a messy evening.

We headed to the Vibe bar, I met a man who I’d been accidentally stalking and tried to convince Eddie that my ‘I love Argos’ badge had nothing to do with him, it did in fact have an Argos store logo on it. I don’t think he believed me.

We all headed back to the ever hospitable Candy & Steves for more boozing. We met an Irish tramp lady and walked along wearing one high heel and one boot. Classy. I drank more absinthe and more whiskey. I danced. I sung. Paula did the footloose dance and we were merry.

I was so so happy. I loved everyone there and was in such a jubilant mood.

I woke up in bed with Candy & Steve, still not 100% sure how that happened.

I also ended up in an illegal off licence trying to score some booze by flirting outrageously. It didn’t work and the shop assistant just spent 10 minutes looking at my boobs instead. Humph. He was supposed to do that and let me buy whiskey as well.

All in all, there is one happy Helen wandering around London. Old and happy and finding more grey hairs every day. All that would make me happier is a dishwasher.


July 20, 2005

Filed under: Uncategorized — helenium @ 1:05 pm

Maybe posting birthday invites on the internet is a bad idea. But never mind…

Next Tuesday will mark 97 years of the FBI, 158 years since Liberian independence was declared, and my birthday.
Hurrah! I hear you shout. Hurrah!

Being organised for once I have a plan…

We’re headed to Chillies on Brick Lane for a curry and as much mango chutney as I can eat without being sick.
Poppadom munching marathons will be launched with the sound of a claxon at about half 7.

If you’re less curry minded, or in fact prefer sitting at home eating super noodles, we’ll be headed over the road to The Vibe Bar (its that big one with the tables outside and the toilets that sell vibrators). I reckon we’ll be staggering in at about 9ish.

So…come along, join us in realising that lots of booze on top of a dodgy curry maybe isn’t a good idea.

I’ve been uber organised and even put maps at the bottom of this now rambling post…

Anyways…I’d be very very happy to see you all next week…


Chillis map:

Vibe Bar map:


July 19, 2005

Filed under: Uncategorized — helenium @ 12:57 pm

Some fun things from the land of media whoredom…

We got Craig David branded iPod shuffles. Complete with his entire back cat fully installed.

I saw the new McFly video this morning and its brilliant. Has the boys on a roof top wearing ties and white shirts looking very hot and tanned. The perspective changes all the time and is even a little bit arty.

The new Dannii Minogue video is to be filmed in Middlesex. Its a high budget exotic shoot then.

And these are the Mercury nomimations…

Magic Numbers
Go! Team
Antony & The Johnsons
Bloc Party
Kaiser Chiefs
KT Tunstall
Maximo Park
Polar Bear
Seth Lakeman

I’d like MIA to win please. If Hard Fi win I will become a plumber.

That is everything interesting that happened at work so far today. If Alex Zane strolls in naked I shall let you know.


July 18, 2005

Filed under: Uncategorized — helenium @ 1:17 pm

Oh its been a weird old week.

It started with cucumber snow at work dinner on Tuesday, finally going to marching band rehearsals on Wednesday to be greeted by surprised looks on the faces of people who thought I’d died or quit. Thursday was spent at Koko where Nathan from Twisted Charm looked like he had a perm and we left early, thankfully missing the ever boring Cribs.

Friday was the start of a very messy weekend. Plans to get to Fabric in time to see Test-icicles were scuppered by transport problems, leaving us to walk in half way through White Rose Movement. I was very upset and only the lasers could help me. My word, they were pretty. Jack drank champagne, with half a bottle of whiskey in me, I tried to avoid any more booze. We walked around for ages, made fun of the chavs and tried to walk home. Somehow ending up in Old St. That was not meant to happen. I think we may have talked too loudly about the prospect of being raped in an unlicensed cab whilst still being inside said unlicensed cab.

On three hours sleep Saturday was a chore. I played Su Doku, napped and ate the food that mr Swish made me.

Sunday promised the Tin Pan Alley festival in Denmark St. I started drinking too early, white wine only an hour and a half after waking is not clever. It was a nice day though, met loads of lovely people, including meeting back up with one of my favourite Chichester men ever. I forgot how much I love him.

Metro Riots went ‘Mau’, Art Brut went ‘Wooohh’ and we ended up in Subway, refusing to see The Subways. They call their staff ‘sandwich artists’. After being chatted up by a man in a pizza shop we pegged it over to the Artrocker aftershow. Having plus 3 guestlist made me feel like Mariah Carey.

I didn’t see Why Lout. I did see Comanechi, who didn’t play Favourite Shoes or Hole. I still had on my big Ascot hat and was playing the glam drunk. I only remembered about an hour ago that I agreed to be in Eddie’s all girl band with Paula and matching outfits. I am scared.

After turning up to work still drunk and very tired for the second Monday running I have decided to cut down on my drinking. There is no need for me to be getting this hammered so often. It can’t be good for me. I don’t even want to know how many units half a bottle of whiskey is, but I know its too much to be a justified pre-club drink. So for the next week, until my birthday in 8 days time, I shall not drink.


Popstar Feets podcasts July 13, 2005

Filed under: Uncategorized — helenium @ 3:48 pm


I don’t have a paid account so ths is going to have to be done using good ole comments but…

I’ve been thinking about this whole photo podcast thing for Popstar Feets. I reckon it’d be a fun idea, Mr Swish reckons noone would ever use it.

So I call upon all you lovely people for your opinions, do you want Popstar Feets podcasts? Bear in mind you only get the image and not the text.

Feel free to shout that its a terrible idea if you want, I don’t mind.


July 7, 2005

Filed under: Uncategorized — helenium @ 1:56 pm

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From my rubbish little map you can see I’m kinda equidistant from Liverpool Street and Aldgate stations, there’s so many sirens and helicopters everywhere. I’ve turned to TV up to try and drown out their noise but its near impossible.

A dodgy curry saved me from getting caught up in all of this, my usual commute to work would have taken me through three of the effected stations: Liverpool St, Moorgate and Kings Cross, all about the same time as the explosions. I feel very lucky to be off from work today.

We all knew that the time would come when this kind of attack on the mass transit system would happen and I don’t think any of us ever became complacent about it – you can always see the unnerved looks on people’s faces when the tube stops in a tunnel for more than 10 minutes. At some point we’ve probably all gone through emergency evacuations from tube stations at some point in the last 4 years, I don’t think anyone ever travels on the tube without the terrorism fear at the back of their mind. The general mood today seems to be massive sympathy towards those that were affected, rather than shock that its actually happened. Without wishing to sound morbid, but I think most people are bracing themselves for more attacks in the future, and just relieved that the bombs weren’t bigger.

Thankfully it seems that everyone I know in London is OK, I was very worried about Mr Swish for a while. He was on the central line through Liverpool St and Bank at the time of the explosions, got stuck on the tube, then evacuated and called me to say he didn’t know what was going on. I couldn’t get through to his mobile for ages and got very concerned, especially with all the news of the bus explosions. Thankfully he’s fine at work, with their blinds down on the windows in case of explosion. Its all very very scary.