Big Yellow Tutu

May 23, 2005

Filed under: Uncategorized — helenium @ 4:21 pm

This weekend Chris and his flat mate Chad spent the weekend trying to prove that I am in fact retarded. Case examples included me continuously spilling anything I eat down my top/trousers/sofa; walking into things; not understanding very simple concepts and not being able to go down stairs very quickly. I protested – arguing that these were just examples of things I wasn’t very good at, rather than proof that I am a bit slow.

But this entry is being written in my university library. I have locked myself out of the flat. I have keys for new flat, but as there is just a sofa and a fridge and bed in there at the moment – it’s not much use. What is the point of doors that lock without needing a key? It’s just asking for trouble.

I can’t even do any work here, my library fine is too large for me to be allowed to get any books out; I don’t know what my essay title is and I don’t need to do any research for any other essays.

The weekend passed by without much drama. Candy, Steve and Swish descended upon my flat at 3 in the morning on Friday night, pissed out their little brains. Mr Swish snaked across my kitchen floor after Steve pissed into a pint glass on the bus. Being stone cold sober it was certainly a strange experience.

We made it over to E Peliccis on Saturday morning, after months of trying to get there but nearly always finding it shut. We had to queue for a while to get a table but with guardian reviews and general infamy making our hearts run that little bit faster we didn’t mind. It didn’t disappoint either. One of the nicest fry ups ever. It’s a tiny tiny place, run by an Italian family who don’t write down your order, instead memorise the whole lot as if it were just one cup of tea.

There’s a really nice photo feature on it here

The rest of Saturday was spent drinking gin and watching Eurovision. I was a little gutted that we didn’t make it over to the Popjustice party – but with money restraints still in place it wasn’t much of an option. I love Eurovision – the concept of picking the lesser of a few evils as a winner is brilliant. There is so much good music being made in Europe at the moment, and yet the entries are always mediocre. There are so many fantastic pop writers out there – why don’t they enter?

My favourite entries were Maldova and Bosnia Herzegovina. The former being an odd pop punk song about grandmas drumming, and the latter being an all girl blonde trio in tiny pale pink frilly dresses. Greece won, with a girl in the formulaic boobs out, thighs everywhere raunch fest. Javine deserved to do a little better – she really didn’t deserve just 18 points. She had the thighs out, she had boobs spilling over the top of her dress; she had the obligatory ambiguous lyrics that ‘oh of course, aren’t about sex’. There was so little difference between our entry and Greece’s. We can’t even blame post war on iraq ill sentiment towards Britain anymore.

We move into the new flat today. It meant having to deal with our less than sharp-minded estate agent lady again. We had to go and sign contracts at half 1. For some reason the landlord wouldn’t be getting there until 2. He was late. So it took an hour to hand over the cash, put our initials on 8 pieces of paper, sign 4 bits of paper and get some keys. The estate agent’s father runs the place, I think that’s the only reason she got the job. It sure as hell wasn’t through competence. I shouldn’t be snobby but it drives me mad when people just don’t bother to do their jobs well because they are simply too lazy or just too thick. If you don’t want to put any effort into your job please go and work in an industry where you deal with things that are less important than the roofs over people’s heads.


Filed under: Uncategorized — helenium @ 3:20 pm

Today I attempted to get an LJ syndicated RSS feed for Popstar Feets. Apparently theres already one. How did that happen? I didn’t even know how to do it until today.

Anyway… if anyone wants the feed it can be got at

Sometimes the pix are working and sometimes they aren’t. But I’m using a shitty library computer today, so it might just be the lack of technical power this end. But if anyone gets any probs just let me know.

Oh, and it’s not as pretty as the the proper site. But then again, nothing can be.


May 20, 2005

Filed under: Uncategorized — helenium @ 12:44 pm

This morning I am trying to get life admin stuff out the way before 1 o clock, in theory leaving me the afternoon to knuckle down and get some work done.

This morning I have

1. sent off contracts to work
2. talked to the world’s most simple estate agent three times about moving house on Monday
3. washed up
4. sent off lost post form
5. tidied room
6. talked to other stupid estate agents about people viewing our flat
7. transferred all new songs to iPod
8. wrote and planned all money stuff over the next month (it doesn’t look good)
9. worked out what meals I make from remains of cupboard fridge and freezer (again – doesn’t look good)
10. moisturised entire body

hurrah. Feel a little bit more calm now.

Recording at Maida Vale was hard work. We weren’t in the main studio, simply because it is absolutely giant. We had to record 8 tracks in total but the first one we chose to do is a fairly new piece, I don’t think we’ve played it more than twice. It took forever to get right, especially as the technicians and producer man spent ages messing about with microphones. We had the studio booked until midnight, but with Star Wars starting at half 12 an hours tube journey away I was watching the clock the whole time. It didn’t look good for the first hour tracks, with the trombone section messing up nearly every cue. I thought we’d never leave on time.

Somehow it all worked out and we were out by half ten. It was the same studio that Bing Crosby recorded his last ever session in and PJ Harvey (as well the Beatles and I’m sure thousands more) had recorded there too. Its horrid though, being quite far underground its really hot and decorated in very bad green curtains.

The recording was for Radio 2’s ‘Listen to the band’ program. I don’t know when it’ll be aired but I know you’re all dying to hear it so I’ll let you know nearer the time.

1. Clog Dance (its from a ballet and apparently quite famous)
2. Boogie Express
3. Imagination ( a sax solo)
4. Anything goes (the one from the beginning of Indiana Jones)
5. What are you doing the rest of your life?
6. Trafalgar
7. Through Bolts and Bars
8. and one more I really can’t remember but I’m sure it was ace.

Star Wars was brilliant, though as expected it did feel like a bit of a checklist run through. The battle scenes, though fun, were a little pointless as you knew who’d win. But I guess they couldn’t just skip them out, then there’d be no film left.

Natalie Portman looks strangely unattractive in it, like a 14 year old girl with hair frizz problems. Hayden Christensan looks lush though, possibly better then Ewan McGregor.

I wore my Star Wars t-shirt and some even dressed up in costumes. Mr Swish turned up a little worse for wear having been to see Objects beforehand. Cue him driving me mad through the ads – “is this spiderman, is this spiderman, is this batman, is this batman, whats that, can I take my shoes off, I don’t like all these people being here, its too loud, whats this holder for, where can I put my jacket, I don’t want to sit next to a stranger, is this star wars, I like h g wells, is this spiderman, whos that, will it get quieter, why are they clapping, where are the dogs…”. Going to the cinema with him is not easy.

With only 80p left in my account for the next 7 days I am staying in all weekend and doing coursework. Its not particularly glamourous but uni finishes next week and I have a lot of work to do. Well, only about 5000 words, but it feels like a lot.


May 18, 2005

Filed under: Uncategorized — helenium @ 5:17 pm

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(Our conductor is called Ted – so bad joke had to made really…)

A night of all round geekdom to be had this evening – me band are off to Maida Vale to record for BBC Radio 2 tonight and then Chad, Dave, Chris and I are off to see a midnight showing of Star Wars.

I am terribly excited by the prospect of Maida Vale – it’s a bit of an achievement to record there isn’t it? I went to see a John Peel session there and was like a wide eyed kid going to Disneyland for the first time. It felt like such a privilege.

Star Wars is going to be brilliant – I have my EP2 t shirt on already. It’s on at 12:31 and I confess, this isn’t the first time I’ve been to a Star Wars midnight showing either. I am a true nerdlinger. Chris wants to dress up as “the big dog from Star Wars”. He’s not a big fan.


May 17, 2005

Filed under: Uncategorized — helenium @ 7:47 pm

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After 5 days of hiding my other bit of news I can finally announce to the world about my new flat.

Next Monday I move from slightly mouldy, very cold, very small flat into luxurious uber-pad. A converted chapel with the nicest kitchen ever. It even has an ironing board cleverly disguised as a drawer. Genius.

Moving in with Swish and so am a strange mixture of absolutely terrified but also quite excited – I know he doesn’t snore and he doesn’t think that pies in a tin every day constitute a healthy diet.

Moving house has left me absolutely skint. I have two deposits out at the same time on current flat and new flat. Its horrible. At least I know it won’t be for more than 6 weeks and then hopefully I will have been paid by sparkly new job. But for the time being I am living on couscous and lentils. Though I may branch out into pasta tonight.

Because it was free and near my house I went to see Twisted Charm at 93 Feet East last night. I feigned excitement, to begin with it seemed I was the only one who didn’t already love them (just like arctic monkeys all over again then). It turned out I wasn’t the only one living in a Twisted Charm free zone – there were only 35 people there including us (I counted). It was supposed to be the single launch party for CJags, whoever they are I feel sorry for them, with an audience that small I don’t think they should get their hopes up for a Popworld performance.

Twisted Charm turned out to be ace. Loads of energy and enthusiasm despite the school class sized audience. Everyone loved the saxophonist – how come clarinettists not get that kind of adoration? Their female bassist was a sight to behold, not only did she have the best hair ever but also the most amazing breasts. Candy and I got somewhat drawn in by them. I hope they’re real.

Broken girl was their best track and you can download it here…

I should be at Koko watching my favourite troupe Art Brut but with lack of pennies to rub together I am at home doing some coursework. Probably I wise idea but I’m still sad about it. No art brut or art goblins or even Fallingovers related fun until glasto now. Coupled with this and the news about Kylie the corners of my lips are drooping somewhat.

But new flat and new job highs put on their boxing gloves and punch those feelings of melancholy right out the window.


May 13, 2005

Filed under: Uncategorized — helenium @ 10:59 pm

After my interview this morning I sat in the Costa on Camden High Street (small Americano and a pain au raisin) and wrote a sappy piece about London that I planned to put on my LJ when I got home. I was reading Smoke, a fanzine that romanticizes everything to do with this heaving city – the litter, the people who press the open buttons on the tube and the date that London got its first elephant.

I was feeling calm about everything, and babbled on about how happy I was in London, how despite my lack of job and prospects I didn’t really mind too much.

But fuck that. The entry is in the bin…


Two weeks next Tuesday I will be an official MTV employee!!!

I can’t believe it. I am so happy. Screw being calm. I cried when I told my dad. My flat mate poured us both very big drinks and we toasted to being triumphant career girls for the new millennium and how much we rock.

It’s a job I know I can do, and want to do too. Its brilliant. I never thought that I’d have a job at MTV waiting for me when I finished my degree.

In other news, I forgot how much I fancy Jonathon Rhys Meyers. I may get all nerdy and track down a copy of Gormenghast. In other nerdy girl news – I’m off to the midnight showing of Star Wars next week. Did the same for EP2 as well. I’m going to wear my Star Wars T Shirt. Its going to be a lot of fun. I imagine mr swish is going to complain all the way, while chad, dave and I cream ourselves from the power of Jedi forces.

In a moment of boredom I checked out the Playing It Straight forum, I can’t even believe TV shows have forums but anyway. There was a thread on it called ‘how hot is danny k’ and the actual danny k had posted on it. Why oh why.

I did a meme. I am very sad. but forgive me, it is the first and last. I promise.

1. Your name spelled backwards?
this is tricky…ecnerwal erialc neleh

2. Where were your parents born?
Mum – London
Dad – London

3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
the swish blog mix. ( – tis ace ace ace

4. What’s your favorite restaurant?
the walnut tree in runcton, sussex. I used to work there and it reminds me of spending a whole summer getting stoned, eating people’s food before their plates got to the table and being in love with the boy who used to wash the plates. He used to sit in the staff garden semi naked every day. Mmm…

5. Last time you swam in a pool?
September – the only time I have used my gym membership ever. Money well spent.

6. Have you ever been in a school play?
not really. A couple of minor primary school things. I was a nerdy kid doing lighting and sound technician stage stuff for a few years.

7. How many kids do you want?
3 – have a girl, adopt a girl then have a boy.

8. Type of music you dislike most?
man doting r&b.

9. Are you registered to vote?
yup. Did it for the first time ever last week. Bring on the adulthood.

10. Do you have cable?
my tv doesn’t even have a scart port. Digital would be a bit ambitious. We’re all about the vhs in this house.

11. Have you ever ridden on a moped?
nope. I didn’t even learn how to ride a bike til I was about 10.

12. Ever prank call anybody?
no, I always got really ratty when the rough kids used to prank call the police from the school bus stop.

13. Best friends?
Dan and Jeremy. The best men in the whole whole world.

14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
no to bungee jumping because of the spine snap fear and sky diving looks underwhelming. I’d rather a nice bottle of whiskey and a nice gig please.

15. Furthest place you ever traveled?
sadly, probably Madeira or Cyprus. Not sure which is further. I’ve done lots of Europe just nowhere outside it.

16. Do you have a garden?
I have two window boxes. One has very phallic ornamental cabbages, the other has luminous orange heather.

17. What’s your favorite comic strip?
I don’t really have one. I occasionally read the kerrang one at work.

18. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem?
being in a british legion band kinda answers that one

19. Bath or Shower, morning or night?
at the moment, a bath, our fucking landlady has taken three weeks to fix our shower. Though usually shower in the morning.

20. Best movie you’ve seen in the past month?
a Cinderella Story. Hillary duff and that guy from dawsons creek. Teh sex. She loses her mobile rather than her slipper and meets prince charming on a chat room. Urban.

21. Favorite pizza topping?
spicy beef.

22. Chips or popcorn?
at a push popcorn. But neither really.

23. What color lipstick do you usually wear?
lipgloss only. Sparkly and chocolate flavoured.

24. Have you ever smoked peanut shells?
er…why would i?

25. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?
I don’t even think I’ve ever seen one or known of one actually taking place yet alone donning a bikini.

26. Orange Juice or apple?
Orange Juice – you can have it with vodka and apple juice is proven to give you headaches.

27. Who was the last person you went out to dinner with?
uni friends, I had fish cakes and salad. Then tonnes of vodka. Oops.

28. Favorite type chocolate bar?
bounty. Dark chocolate. It gets stuck in your teeth and the little bits that dislodge themselves come as a fun surprise later in the afternoon.

29. When was the last time you voted at the polls?

30. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?
probably at parents home at easter. No idea really though.

31. Have you ever won a trophy?
never ever. I suck at sports. I came 239th out of 240 in the school badminton tournament.

32. Are you a good cook?
I make an ace curry but cannot bake a cake to save my life. Unless you count rice krispie cakes.

33. Do you know how to pump your own gas?
now that sounds rude. If it is then yes. If its not then, no.

34. Ever order an article from an infomercial?
I don’t think I’ve ever even seen an infomercial.

35. Sprite or 7-up?
I can’t tell the difference between any soft drinks. Glue, syrup and bubbles all taste the same to me.

36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work?
yup, including t shirts that have said “juicy and sweet” (advertising M&S cherries) and once dressing up as a jedi for star wars box set launch (my area manager told me I looked hot as a jedi – sicko).

37. Last thing you bought at a pharmacy?
foundation in a beautiful holographic box. Mmm…classy…

38. Ever thrown up in public?
over the catherdral in Chichester on my 21st. I was sick turquoise pulp. Yum.

39. Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love?
true love.

40. Do you believe in love at first sight?
maybe. Maybe love on first meeting.

41. Can exs be friends?
yeah, but only after a while it seems. Once the anger at finding out they slept with a man has subsided it becomes easier.

42. Who was the last person you visited in a hospital?
my ex’s dad.

43.Did you have a lot of hair when you were a baby?
tonnes. They called me the “upside down loo brush” at hospital cos I was born with a mass of black spikey hair.

44. What message is on your voicemail?
orange dullness.

46. What was the name of your first pet?
Blue-blue. A manx cat who was, oddly enough, very blue coloured.

47. What’s in your backpack?
it’s a handbag and has a pad of paper, a pen, two fanzines, lip gloss, my phone, keys and wallet.

48. Favorite thing to do before bedtime?
put on my electric blanket, have a mug of camomile tea and read either magazine or the newspaper. I am a little old lady.

49. What is one thing you are grateful for today?
Getting a job and all the people I love (bar one – darn you nippard) going to glasto this year.

50. What do you think about most?
dissertations, flats, food and money (and of course, no hours in my days are spent daydreaming about sleeping with lead singers of bands who sometimes miss out on the top 40 by one place. Of course not).

right. I’ve got that out my system now. Sorry. Html tags got cleared from brain in one entry and I reckon this will do the same.

For now, I plan to sleep and wake up in the morning to hand my notice in to my Saturday job with a grin bigger than china.



May 10, 2005

Filed under: Uncategorized — helenium @ 9:21 pm

I haven’t updated in a week! A whole week! I am so lazy.

I’ve been feeling fairly unmotivated – I got turned down by Emap for a job after the interview last week. I put tonnes of effort into that interview too. Grr…

Had an interview yesterday, am keeping my fingers crossed but applying for nearly 40 jobs has the tendency to dull the happiness in my heart a little.

I am however excited about Star Wars so so much. Its going to be amazing.

Richard Madeley is talking about how much he enjoys sex. I think I may try and steal him from Judy. If only he liked Tatu more.

Thursday was far too full of booze to be healthy. All my marketing student friends handed their dissertations in that day, and it was also our last marketing lecture (well it would have been if we turned up). At one o clock we headed to the pub and after many vodkas, some champagne, some cocktails and then some more vodka I was a little worse for wear. Stumbling home via Noodle King, making a fool of myself in front of my flat mates and then passing out on my bed was never part of my plan. If only I had a little dignity.

On Sunday we headed over to Cargo for the alldayer event there. It was a sunglasses themed gig, giving mr swish the opportunity to permanently glue his new eyewear to his pretty face. The line-up was a bit of a mess with loads of bands turning up late (the rocks), some not turning up at all (VV&Vs and Les Incompetents) and some being promoted (chineapples).

First up were whiskey cats. A bit too many trumpets and not enough screaming or guitars for my liking. But they were quite cute.

Komakino were next and A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. I was so impressed. I’d been advised to go and see them at the Camden Crawl a few months back but didn’t make it to their venue. The lead singer is incredibly sexy, simply the best hair ever. Very skinny too. They really didn’t need to apologise for being tired after playing Liverpool the night before – we would never have noticed.

Chineapples were doing a semi acoustic gig, complete with new beautifully shirted drummer. They pulled it off really well, I was worried it would be a disaster. I really like Douglas’ new hair too – all slicked back and Baywatch chic.

The Rocks sounded a bit bored to begin with, but soon picked up and played to the kind of standard I’d expected from them. James jumped about in sunglasses, promising then forgetting to crowd surf and getting tonnes of adoring stares from all the thousands of young girls at the front of the stage.

I got terribly excited at this point by the arrival of Amy Winehouse. She’s tiny! Possibly even smaller than me. Mr Swish asked for a photo of her shoes for me and she asked him to find somewhere more quiet with her! The hussy.

I don’t think I saw any other bands after this – missing most of Dustin’s Bar Mitzvah to try (and fail) to buy Square Pies. Missing all of Metro Riots to eat falafels and get shouted at by moody waitresses who refuse to let anyone order just pork on sticks without ordering a side of sweet potato chips.

I was sober, swish was drunk and after a bit of hanging about outside trying to stay warm we called it a day. Missing Yeti, New Rhodes and The Rifles. Silly maybe but sometimes we can be a little reckless.

Today I got shown around a couple of flats by a crazy estate agent who didn’t seem like she wanted to let me a flat. The opposite of most estate agents I’ve encountered in the past who tried to push contracts down my throat on viewing the first flat. Very odd indeed.