Big Yellow Tutu

March 21, 2005

Filed under: Uncategorized — helenium @ 3:27 pm

I’ve been dutifully pouring out the highlights of my life onto live journal for 4 months now and I’m getting to the point of boredom with it. My fascination with it has come in peaks and troughs. The first 2 weeks or so I was telling the world about my new shiny internet life. I loved it everything about it and would be keeping a beady eye open for interesting things going on in London so that I could go home at the end of the day and tell the world about it.

After 2 weeks I became grumpy, convinced noone read anything I wrote, and deemed the whole thing to be a waste of time. Urged on by my ever blog loving boyfriend I ploughed on with my daily updates and after a while people started commenting on things that I wrote. I began finding out about new gigs and new bands to watch out for and generally felt part of a huge community. We’d all swap opinions on the gigs that we’d seen that week, compare diaries to see who was going to the same gigs and all sympathise with each other when we woke up on a Sunday morning regretting our Frog antics the night before. I was happy.

This joy lasted about 3 months, today I can’t bring myself to write the same old shit all over again. yes, I did go and see this band, I liked them. I drank too much. Im not doing enough work. Isn’t it sunny? Etc… every entry reads like this, I could do hundreds like this ad nauseum.

I started popstar feets in an attempt to do something new with blogs, hoping to buck the trend of the daily life update that was so often associated with blogs. It worked, somehow popstar feets became huge but I still kept with my live journal despite my revolutionary ideas.

I’m feeling a little disillusioned with the candy coated highlights that live journal feeds from. I’d think about the funny things that happened during my day, and produce a perfectly formed diamond of an update, omitting all the dull events that make up most of my life. Now don’t get me wrong at this point, I love my life, but today I don’t really feel the need to tell everyone what I’ve been doing.

My last entry was my most honest, if a little nasty. I guess I have to make a decision – write honestly, stand like a warrior and take the flack (though shall try to be less bitchy) or do as my mother would and if I can’t think of anything nice to write than I shan’t write anything at all. Live journal is just a little too incestuous, I can’t critique a band without one of their friends or even band members spinning round and shouting at me. I can’t keep saying I like every band I see, there’s little point in that. Oh, I’m all of a quandary.

Does this live journal resentment pass? I imagine it probably does, tomorrow I’ll probably write a new update, and go back to my usual London gig scene update with added helen’s life highlights. But for today I’m going to sit down and reassess my internet life and blogging morals.

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