Big Yellow Tutu

January 28, 2005

Filed under: Uncategorized — helenium @ 12:10 pm

My god. I feel like a giant walking whisky bottle. I drank way way too much at the elbow rooms. I am gently sipping a glass of water though feel the only thing that may save me is a months hibernation. I feel so wibbly.

The gig was fun last night, the first band on were terrible. American or Canadian and kept doing the whole ‘talk the audience up’ thing, with little gems like “so this is the elbow rooms”, “you guys like pool”, “nice to be here in London”, “ you guys wanna rock out”. So cheesy.

Dustin’s Bar Mitzvah were on next, a little low on the billing I thought but they pulled it off regardless. No on stage fights, though the bassist looked in a terrible mood. Dave did his usual insult the audience thing “you’re all miserable cunts, cheer up – its Thursday. Tomorrow is Friday, the day after that is Saturday, and the day after that is Sunday and you can all go to church again. Cheer the fuck up.” They played a very short set, that as far as i can remember included Lucy, BNP, To The Ramones and Goldhawk Rd and Where’s Bill Grundy Now?. No Jimmy White which was upsetting. There were a couple of new ones I hadn’t heard before and they may have played Mood On but I just can’t remember back that far.

Next up was The Barbs. I didn’t like them much but to be fair didn’t really give them much attention. By this point I’d realised that the sole had fallen off my favourite pair of yellow shoes. I walked to the loos and thought that I had something stuck to my shoe to find the entire sole just hanging off. Am so gutted. Going to go and look for a cobbler today.

The Barbs were just a bit too mid 90s for my liking. The girl was dressed in a very very very short tartan skirt and had black tights and big DM style boots on. Now I know I shouldn’t judge bands (or people I guess) on what they wear but I do like to feel that musics moving on a bit and just didn’t see it in them.

Chineapples were the penultimate boys to hit the stage. They were great. It turns out theyre a band full of broken shoes. How they walk around all day is a mystery. Reckless. They were noisy and the audience were really into them which was cool. Douglas their lead singer had an ace stripey jumper on and must have the largest pair of lungs in the world if you go by his singing.

It was about midnight by this point and the venue was really empty, I guess everyone left to try and get the last tube home. There could have been no more than about 30 or so people left. When Art Goblins came on stage it seemed the sound guy had left too. The drum kit mics were fucked, eddie’s mic was so quiet he may as well have just given up on it. By the time they got it all sorted there were more people on stage than in the audience and they were very very very very very very very drunk. Their bassist (or was it guitarist – cant remember) had spent most of the night in the toilets being sick.

They did Fuck The MSP and Popstar but that’s about all I could recognise. Well that and the spelling of art goblins. A real shambles. Violin bows were destroyed, tambourines wrecked and songs stopped and started to try and sort out the sound on the mics again. There were so few people there that the signs theyd made on the back of cardboard beer cases with things like “I love artgoblins” and “nicky wire can suck my cock” were facing the band rather than the audience as after all there were more of them in the band then us in the audience. Eddie looked totally gutted, he was laughing his way through it but kept covering his eyes with his hands in shame. I really enjoyed it though, I danced and it was lots of fun. It wasn’t professional but I don’t think they were ever aiming at that. Everyone in the audience enjoyed it and came away smiling and I reckon that’s whats most important. Dancing, singing, drinking and laughing – what can be bad about that combination?

Art Brut 44, mine and mr swish’s new franchise, is coming along really well. We’re going to sound like believe era cher, with vocoders and bad wigs. mr swish wants diamonds on his. We have three songs so far ‘vocoder’, ‘i just coughed up cum’ and ‘it was my idea’. At the moment we only have one chorus for vocoder but titles are a step in the right direction. Also Mr Argos has promised to join us, if not for playing but just standing at the back of the stage. I might try and get him in a dress and wig. He mentioned wanting clarinet lessons, that might be my fee, ill teach him if he wears a dress.

Im not going to any gigs tonight, though I had the choice of either The Rakes or Jesse Malin. My plan for the day is to finish my violin string essay whilst still drunk, hope that the walk to hand it in sobers me up then go back to bed and sleep. Going to that john kennedy all day thing tomorrow and then frog afterwards so I need some sleep.

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