Big Yellow Tutu

January 30, 2005

Filed under: Uncategorized — helenium @ 4:29 pm

Another hungover post gig lj entry then. Yesterday was split into three parts, with each part being more exciting than the last. From 9 til 6 was spent, amongst other tedious activities, peeling stickers off the new chemical brothers album.

It got better when I got to the barfly for the xfm john kennedy gig. I missed the bands that although I’d already seen I did want to see again – The Cherubs and Metro Riots. I got there in time for Maximo Park though but I’m still not entirely sure I like them. They don’t spark any kind of emotion in me – I don’t want to dance to them, they don’t make me happy, they don’t make me sad and yet they don’t make me bored. They did however make me sweat like a huge potbellied pig. The upstairs gig bit of the barfly must have been in the late 40’s in temperature. So boiling. The Queens of Noize girls had turned up with little Japanese stylee fans, very clever.

After Maximo Park were Dogs, Eastern Lane and Yourcodenameis:milo. All of whom I missed. But I’m not bothered. I know nothing of Dogs or Eastern Lane and don’t like ycnim much anyways. Most of the evening was spent watching mr swish stumble about in a huge drunken mess, handing parsley to 14 yr old girls and drinking a can of red bull, glass of whiskey, can of red bull, glass of whiskey, can of red bull…

Somehow we made it to frog. Queue jumping with guestlist too. Felt so Hollywood. Finally got to see Ludes and thank fuck we did. They were ace. This is a band that makes me happy and makes me want to dance. Same goes for mr swish too apparently who invented a new ‘slo mo creep walk with slo mo London arms’ dance whilst watching them. It has to be seen to be believed. I have photos of said dance, I shall post them tonight.

Man mountain olly and man boobs dave were there too with their very pretty new flatmate who’s name I can’t spell so wont even try but she’s lovely. Met the crazy doppelganger of james rocks again, Damien, he’s really nice but could barely walk. It seems he got drawn into the whiskey and coke for £2 deal too. I think he should go out and do scandalous things whilst pretending to be james. Start a bit of controversy. Maybe be caught giving sexual favours to the lead singer of keane whilst wearing a blonde wig. That might do it.

Took the really long night bus journey to mr swish’s all the way to wimbledon. It takes hours and also has the creepiest walk home ever. Real crimewatch reconstruction scene stuff – dual carriageways and forests. It’s a surefire combination for being mugged at 4 in the morning when drunk. We weren’t mugged, we made it home to eat cheese, watch porn then sleep.

Next week is going to be spent sleeping in every morning, listening to the piles of new music I’ve got and haven’t listened to and learning how to make curry from scratch. I figured that whilst living on brick lane I should really learn, theres so many amazing shops that sell all kinds of exotic vegetables that I cant even name yet alone work out how to cook. So far I can make saag aloo and chicken balti. I am armed with madhur jeffery’s cookbook and oodles of enthusiasm.

I can only remember what gigs I’m going to up until Wednesday of next week but they include either clor at ‘trocker or youthmovie soundtrack strategies at white heat. I think it might have to be Clor, missed them play yesterday and did see ymss supporting Fightstar a few months back. It also feels like weeks (well maybe 3) since I last went to ‘trocker. I miss it somewhat, especially the really heavy toilet doors that always surprise me. Wednesday is rtx, Comanechi and Gin Palace. I know nothing about rtx and the last time I saw Gin Palace they were terrible but I love comanechi so am happy girl.

Apologies for the lack of shoes on Popstar Feets over the last couple of days. I’ve been away from my computer for a few days but have a good collection of new shoes for next week so be sure to get excited. Have a camomile tea before you go to bed so you can still sleep tonight despite the excitement of it all.


January 28, 2005

Filed under: Uncategorized — helenium @ 12:10 pm

My god. I feel like a giant walking whisky bottle. I drank way way too much at the elbow rooms. I am gently sipping a glass of water though feel the only thing that may save me is a months hibernation. I feel so wibbly.

The gig was fun last night, the first band on were terrible. American or Canadian and kept doing the whole ‘talk the audience up’ thing, with little gems like “so this is the elbow rooms”, “you guys like pool”, “nice to be here in London”, “ you guys wanna rock out”. So cheesy.

Dustin’s Bar Mitzvah were on next, a little low on the billing I thought but they pulled it off regardless. No on stage fights, though the bassist looked in a terrible mood. Dave did his usual insult the audience thing “you’re all miserable cunts, cheer up – its Thursday. Tomorrow is Friday, the day after that is Saturday, and the day after that is Sunday and you can all go to church again. Cheer the fuck up.” They played a very short set, that as far as i can remember included Lucy, BNP, To The Ramones and Goldhawk Rd and Where’s Bill Grundy Now?. No Jimmy White which was upsetting. There were a couple of new ones I hadn’t heard before and they may have played Mood On but I just can’t remember back that far.

Next up was The Barbs. I didn’t like them much but to be fair didn’t really give them much attention. By this point I’d realised that the sole had fallen off my favourite pair of yellow shoes. I walked to the loos and thought that I had something stuck to my shoe to find the entire sole just hanging off. Am so gutted. Going to go and look for a cobbler today.

The Barbs were just a bit too mid 90s for my liking. The girl was dressed in a very very very short tartan skirt and had black tights and big DM style boots on. Now I know I shouldn’t judge bands (or people I guess) on what they wear but I do like to feel that musics moving on a bit and just didn’t see it in them.

Chineapples were the penultimate boys to hit the stage. They were great. It turns out theyre a band full of broken shoes. How they walk around all day is a mystery. Reckless. They were noisy and the audience were really into them which was cool. Douglas their lead singer had an ace stripey jumper on and must have the largest pair of lungs in the world if you go by his singing.

It was about midnight by this point and the venue was really empty, I guess everyone left to try and get the last tube home. There could have been no more than about 30 or so people left. When Art Goblins came on stage it seemed the sound guy had left too. The drum kit mics were fucked, eddie’s mic was so quiet he may as well have just given up on it. By the time they got it all sorted there were more people on stage than in the audience and they were very very very very very very very drunk. Their bassist (or was it guitarist – cant remember) had spent most of the night in the toilets being sick.

They did Fuck The MSP and Popstar but that’s about all I could recognise. Well that and the spelling of art goblins. A real shambles. Violin bows were destroyed, tambourines wrecked and songs stopped and started to try and sort out the sound on the mics again. There were so few people there that the signs theyd made on the back of cardboard beer cases with things like “I love artgoblins” and “nicky wire can suck my cock” were facing the band rather than the audience as after all there were more of them in the band then us in the audience. Eddie looked totally gutted, he was laughing his way through it but kept covering his eyes with his hands in shame. I really enjoyed it though, I danced and it was lots of fun. It wasn’t professional but I don’t think they were ever aiming at that. Everyone in the audience enjoyed it and came away smiling and I reckon that’s whats most important. Dancing, singing, drinking and laughing – what can be bad about that combination?

Art Brut 44, mine and mr swish’s new franchise, is coming along really well. We’re going to sound like believe era cher, with vocoders and bad wigs. mr swish wants diamonds on his. We have three songs so far ‘vocoder’, ‘i just coughed up cum’ and ‘it was my idea’. At the moment we only have one chorus for vocoder but titles are a step in the right direction. Also Mr Argos has promised to join us, if not for playing but just standing at the back of the stage. I might try and get him in a dress and wig. He mentioned wanting clarinet lessons, that might be my fee, ill teach him if he wears a dress.

Im not going to any gigs tonight, though I had the choice of either The Rakes or Jesse Malin. My plan for the day is to finish my violin string essay whilst still drunk, hope that the walk to hand it in sobers me up then go back to bed and sleep. Going to that john kennedy all day thing tomorrow and then frog afterwards so I need some sleep.


January 26, 2005

Filed under: Uncategorized — helenium @ 12:04 pm

An odd day yesterday spent learning about what animal intestines make the best violin strings and then going to a pub where for the first half hour a little old lady sat in the corner with a trumpet on her lap just singing to herself. This lady also seemed to know the girl in the opposite corner in the shortest skirt I have ever seen (bear in mind it was snowing) who was showing the entirety of her legs to the pub. We’re not just talking a bit of thigh but her whole leg. I’m not sure she was wearing any pants, we would have been able to see them if she were. It turned out there was a stand up comedy competition that night in the pub and these two were involved. The lady with the trumpet told us she didn’t play the trumpet herself but her pet penguin did. The girl with all the legs didn’t give any explanation about her capacity for cold resistance.

The evening didn’t get less surreal when we made it to the Metro club to see Maximo Park. It turned out we were the only people who had actually forked out the £6 for a ticket. It was full of industry bods, mostly middle aged men who were all at least 8 foot tall. I saw nothing of the band, nor did mr swish and he’s not a short man by any stretch of the imagination.

The first support were called Faulty Driver, at least that what we guessed. They were impressively good. A really long set too. There had been rumours that the next support was going to be Help She Can’t Swim but we weren’t so lucky and instead got lumbered with a post sex-op version of the delays. Nice harmonies, sure, but essentially quite dull.

Maximo Park were 100% how I expected them to sound, which isn’t a bad thing either. They put on a good show, maybe because they knew it was an industry night, but they joked, jumped and squawked well. I think I would have enjoyed it more if I could have seen the stage and the audience was less reserved but we’re seeing them again at the John Kennedy exposure all day gig on Saturday so maybe that one might be more fun.

Just bought tickets for the Camden Crawl too. Looks really fun – 40 bands across 9 venues on one day? I shall have to wear sensible shoes. Lots of walking me thinks. But just think how many shoes I could get there. At least 100 pairs if I really set my mind to it.

At Popstar Feets today we have a bit of an unexpected pair of shoes. A man who famously punched phillip schofield. Who can it be….?


January 24, 2005

Filed under: Uncategorized — helenium @ 12:14 pm

Ah, such a fun day was had at the all day g-spot festival at the pleasure unit on saturday.

The first few bands up probably didn’t get the attention they deserved, it was quite empty and mr swish and I were feeling less than perfect after the decision to try and forget our hangovers by eating large fry ups and starting on the gin again at about 2 in the afternoon. We both stood there for about an hour pondering over whether or not we were actually going to be sick. Thankfully we weren’t. Gin is well regarded for its excellent medicinal properties.

We stuck around for a bit but I only live round the corner and neither of us wanted to see 1984 or The IK Plus so we headed home for a binge of drinking more gin and dancing on my bed and desk chair (swish=bed, me=chair) to McFly and Har Mar. It was a well deserved break from looking serious whilst standing around at the gig.

Time flies when you’re listening to McFly it seems and we managed to miss Ciccone. Am gutted. Did catch The Fades, Luxembourg and Rhesus though, but at some point I didn’t notice them changing over on stage. In my head they kinda blurred a little. I’m sure they were all good though.

The end of the gig made standing around in the dark for hours completely worth it. Art Brut 4 kicked it off with a brilliant song that contained one lyric “ben loves men, ben loves men, ben loves men…”. So good. The band is made up of some very young gothy emo kids who’d been there in the audience looking petrified since 2 o clock. They had no reason whatsoever to be nervous they were amazing, even if they did only have 4 songs.

Apparently next up was Art Brut 69. Though i’ll be honest, I’m not sure i can tell the difference between art brut 69 and the fallingovers. it seems like a pretty random mix of ed, james, eddie, keith and mike. there was no clear changeover, just a series of different people jumping on and off stage. They did “you’ll only get bored of her”/”i’m over her”, the next single and “I wanna be Johnny dean”.

So I think next up was The Fallingovers, who are not “an art brut side project – we are just a drinking game”. Shambolic just doesn’t even come close. They started off with either a Rocks song or a cover of The Futureheads. The Rocks song went surprisingly well, with the yummy James from The Rocks still wearing his bad hat but still looking divine. The Futureheads hounds of love cover was hilarious, Eddie clearly didn’t know the song and couldn’t even manage the –oh – ah –oh – ah –oh –ohs on his own, Ed idiot had to come over and help. They did ‘fuck the MSP’, more singing of “Nicky Wire can suck my cock”. But the real singing was to be had along to Fallingovers- totp – art brut 4 – totp – the rocks –totp – Luxembourg – totp etc etc etc…

It was great, they all just stumbled around each other for 20 mins, jumped about and were the most brilliantly under rehearsed band ever. And not once did anyone get up on stage to do a ‘we have to remember what we’re here for’ charity push. The best way to give to charity. Pay on door, throw some money in a bucket, then forget about it with gin and bands. Probably shouldn’t say that but oh well.

I got so many shoes that night. So many that I sat down and looked at the pictures on my camera and tried to match them up to the list I scrawled upon returning home on Saturday night and am struggling to match shoes to name. Lots of people ( well about 5) came up to me and said “you’re that shoe girl”. Am more famous than google. But Dave Gorman was actually at the gig and didn’t tell me he wanted to write a series about my site. Have maybe some way to go then…

I did get to spend the whole day gazing at Mr Argos. He touched my socks.

I’m off swing dancing tonight. i have a new prom style skirt that has a picture of a gun across it and little splatters of blood in red sequins. perfect for dancing. unless kevin spacey’s there, no shoe opportunities.


the record shop i work for wont let me buy ciccone online. am upset. refused my credit card.bastards January 20, 2005

Filed under: Uncategorized — helenium @ 10:40 pm

The plan for being bigger than google is slowly taking shape. Popstar Feets is already taking over the internet. i’m not going to go for the humble pie route. i love my site. i have cards to hand out, now own (its not ready yet – no clicking early – be patient), and will soon own popstar feet badges. i need help on this bit of it.

im searching for good ideas but it seems i have fewer than i hoped. what to put on the badges? now i have no idea how many people read this lj site, but if there is anyone out there who fancies getting a bit photoshop or paint happy and emailing me badge ideas that’d be lovely.

i’m still mourning busted. most sites seem to be saying how that news is ‘so last week’ but i’m still upset ok? no amount of The Noise Next Door, Freefaller or Rooster will help. especially not noise next door, they’re way too creepy. though top marks for Rooster for putting “Rooster let rip in Aldershot” on their site. for those of you less savvy to the southern town there is nothing there. at all. there has never been. its a brave thing to say on your homepage.

gigs gigs gigs gigs gigs. theres just so many. tomorrow is a club night down at the handily near Pleasure Unit. For once it lives up to its porny sounding name. tomorrow promises to be a “furious, dirty randomness of bands, djing, gothic pole dancing and the selling of clothes and accessories”. i feel i will end up being stuck with the decision of drinking or buying earrings. thankfully not pole dancing, i’ve been assured there are actually professional dancers there to do that.

the whole weekend may be spent at the pleasure unit, as on saturday it plays host to theG Spot Festival. It sounds more porny than the previous night but i’m pretty sure it won’t be. up on the tiny stage will be: supergroup The Fallingovers, Art Brut 4, Ciccone and Rhesus plus loads more i can’t remember. So basically its an art brut side project & friends extravaganza. hope to spend the entire day gazing at eddie.

i’m trying to write this whilst half watching a program about coke in south america. ive realised its quite hard to follow subtitled programmes and type at the same time. they need concentration. haha, program just went to ad break into an ad of cars driving through snow. i wonder whether that was done on purpose. i once went to the cinema and saw a ‘speed kills children’ ad back to back with an ad for a car where someone drives really fast and dangerously round a multi storey car park. brilliant. not that i condone wreckless driving of course.

fuck. its nearly 11. i have an exam tomorrow. need sleep.


Le ga- ragh, le ga- ragh – ragh… January 18, 2005

Filed under: Uncategorized — helenium @ 11:51 am

after a small battle on the door with a dimwitted ticket woman who couldnt tell the difference between her empty hand and her hand with a tenner in it, the joys of mando diao, the chalets, art brut and the rocks were upon us last night.

well actually, the dimwit made us missThe Chalets, but we did get to share a table with them at the aftershow bar. them and a very odd, precocious australian woman too.

caught the tail end of Mando Diao and them seemed really good. very pop. i met their promoter at the bar who tried to convince me they were more like the libs than busted. though everything i read about them makes that hives connection, so i should be thankful he didnt do that i guess.

following mando diao were The Rocks. My shoe celeb man was awesome. I really had no idea what to expect of them but they’re superb. and i know that the last few gig entries in this have all said that all the bands i’ve seen this week were good, but its true. its not just me in an exceedingly good, open hearted mood this week. The Rocks were really fun, lots of jumping, but also really great musicians. and i know thats such a wanky thing to say but they had really good chemistry on stage. but fun and professional, its rarely found. i have the hunch these guys might end up having their own line of The Rocks thermos flask merchandise, theyll be that huge…

and last but certainly never ever least was Art Brut. he got naked. only once. sure, he wibbles a bit when he jumps around naked, but i still love him. i found his live journal where he says he’s quit his job and expects to run out of money by the end of april. im thinking of inviting him to have the left hand side of my bed and we can share cold bubble baths together (i have no hot water). we’d cuddle up on the sofa and eat pickle straight out the jar with our fingers. we’d spend all summer sat on my kitchen floor with the balcony doors open, drinking cheap whiskey while he read something clever and i’d read something trashy. its going to be great.

And in other shoes… today brings our first threesome. And a colourful one at that. what three boys would wear pink and green shoes?


January 16, 2005

Filed under: Uncategorized — helenium @ 10:08 pm

damn it. my plan was to sit down and do some work. then new plan was to pour a brandy, read the end of ‘down & out in paris & london’ then do some work. now im thinking a better plan may be to wake up early and do some work.

why can’t i write anything non-blog related anymore? i used to be so studious. time is going too quickly at the moment. i got back at 4, i cooked, read for half an hour and now its 10. how does that work? I’m spending all my time thinking about eddie argos. though i’ve just discovered he doesn’t know the difference between their and they’re. i think i might let him off on that though.

i am also still mourning the death of busted. its going to take a while, so i warn you all, there are many entries still to come about those three beautiful boys. i blame myself really, i used to be a 100% james fan. i once dreamt that i slept with him in the store cupboard of a uni halls of residence and my fascination grew from there really. he was the one who wrote the songs, had cute hair and seemed less moody than charlie (matt never got a look in – he used to beat up the guy who used to wash my hair at the hairdressers).

all was going swimmingly and my plans to be mrs bourne were in place until i watched ‘America or Busted’ and discovered that the man hunk in my dreams spoke like a little girl. i was mortified. reappraisals were clearly due. suddenly i found my eyes creeping towards charlie. having seen fightstar only a few weeks previous to this and being impressed with his height, i was starting to think that maybe mrs simpson was a better idea. my fingers were typing ‘charlie busted’ into the images bit of google and there was nothing i could do. mere weeks after this came that fateful 11 am on january 14th 2005. clearly the one more typing of charlie’s name into google had tipped the balance of the band. Seismic ripples spread through the atmosphere and equality in the band melted away. along came the announcement that we’d all hoped would never happen. i’m really sorry everyone. i shall go about typing ‘james busted’ into google for hours, possibly days, on end now just to see if i can possibly turn things around.